She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I still have a little drunk in my system
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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