Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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