I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
