I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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