Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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