I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
