Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
