put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
