Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You pole danced in your parka.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
