I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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