Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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