Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
