barbara walters just said penis...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
