Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
