how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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