she looked like the bat from fern gully.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
