You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
