just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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