dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
