We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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