You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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