Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
