just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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