I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
