I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
