One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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