I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
