There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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