we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
nutella sex= disaster
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
