"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
