This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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