i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
