we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I supernannyed him into submission
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
