I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
