Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
