The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
