Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
