you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm at about main and main street
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
