My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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