your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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