my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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