I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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