if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
