Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's shark week go big or go home
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
