I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
