If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
