this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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