I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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