On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
