Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
