she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize