And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
