He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
