aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
