Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
